Some depressing stuff...
No... i'm not gonna talk about the injustices around world or about any of the poor children around the world... For now, im gonna wallow in a lil bit of self-pity (well... maybe i'll let you decide if it's self-pity) and gripe about a few things.
I've actually been kinda depessed since i got in uni 2 years ago. Tho i had some nice patches between then and now, I've really been disappointed with what i have and what's been happening to me. I'll leave out the things that happened long ago, cuz if i started, i'll take til tomorrow to finish this gripe...
As most ppl already know, i've been working part time for a month plus. I just got my pay-check just two weeks ago and guess what? It's less that a hundred... sigh... though i'm hopeful that i'll get more as time goes, i still can't help but be a bit affected by that. I mean, it's my first pay-check in the line of work that i'm studying for, fer cryin' out loud!
Then there's this question about guitar gear and stuff like that... money has been really hard to come by these few months. I can't afford to buy any of the gear that i want/need. I mean, I am 'supposed to be' a music student majoring in music tech/sound engineering. My friends doing medicine (Ju), business (Sam), pharmacy(KJ) etc all have better gear than I do... sigh... can't even afford to buy a decent amp here. Thought of getting an amp modeler instead (cheaper, i thought), but can't even really afford a good one now... sure i have a great Tak, but it just doesn't feel like it's enough.. for those non-guitarist reading: guitarist who want to play for a living CAN'T survive with just one type of guitar, you need to have a variety for the different sounds used in different sounds. Am i being picky?? i dunno... my SQUIER strat is like crap (that's how i feel about now anyway), and the pick-ups (best part of guitar) aren't even mine (tribute to Ju for loaning them to me)!! sigh... really depressing here...
As if not having guitar gear is bad enough, I can't even start thinking of getting recording/pro audio equipment yet.. that's like i need at least 5k TO START! sigh..
in case all of you haven't realised yet, i'm 'supposed to be' a musician/sound engineer... THESE THINGS ARE MY TOOLS OF TRADE!!!! sigh...
it's really easy to say that i have knowledge that not many have, but I guess that's not consolation enough. This is supposed to be my livelihood... knowledge is useless if i don't have tools to work with... sigh...
and further more, where am i heading? i mean, teaching is really fulfilling and all, but that's not what i really want to do. I really want to do studio work and stuff like that... i wanna produce someone's album, i want to set up concert sound-systems, i want to engineer music for people. How can i do that? UPM doesn't even have the facilities set-up properly for me to try out all the different things i can do on pro audio equipment.. sigh... and i'm supposed to learn there.. the classes don't cater me... i DO NOT claim to be an expert but my the lecturers are forced to teach basic things because... ermm... nah... shouldn't say it.. i really don't wanna insult/offend my coursemates. So you draw your own conclusion...
I also wanna further my studies. I want to do a post grad in Sound Engineering, Music production or something related. where can i do that here? UPM???? don't even have the facilities set-up properly. anywhere else? UMS? I'm not impressed at what they have. Where do i have in mind? University of Miami looks interesting, some Unis in UK look good... but guess what? $$$... or rather the lack of it... WHAT TO DO!?!?! don't even have money to get an air-ticket there let alone study there... sigh...
self-pity? You tell me. Whatever it is... it still depresses me....
I've actually been kinda depessed since i got in uni 2 years ago. Tho i had some nice patches between then and now, I've really been disappointed with what i have and what's been happening to me. I'll leave out the things that happened long ago, cuz if i started, i'll take til tomorrow to finish this gripe...
As most ppl already know, i've been working part time for a month plus. I just got my pay-check just two weeks ago and guess what? It's less that a hundred... sigh... though i'm hopeful that i'll get more as time goes, i still can't help but be a bit affected by that. I mean, it's my first pay-check in the line of work that i'm studying for, fer cryin' out loud!
Then there's this question about guitar gear and stuff like that... money has been really hard to come by these few months. I can't afford to buy any of the gear that i want/need. I mean, I am 'supposed to be' a music student majoring in music tech/sound engineering. My friends doing medicine (Ju), business (Sam), pharmacy(KJ) etc all have better gear than I do... sigh... can't even afford to buy a decent amp here. Thought of getting an amp modeler instead (cheaper, i thought), but can't even really afford a good one now... sure i have a great Tak, but it just doesn't feel like it's enough.. for those non-guitarist reading: guitarist who want to play for a living CAN'T survive with just one type of guitar, you need to have a variety for the different sounds used in different sounds. Am i being picky?? i dunno... my SQUIER strat is like crap (that's how i feel about now anyway), and the pick-ups (best part of guitar) aren't even mine (tribute to Ju for loaning them to me)!! sigh... really depressing here...
As if not having guitar gear is bad enough, I can't even start thinking of getting recording/pro audio equipment yet.. that's like i need at least 5k TO START! sigh..
in case all of you haven't realised yet, i'm 'supposed to be' a musician/sound engineer... THESE THINGS ARE MY TOOLS OF TRADE!!!! sigh...
it's really easy to say that i have knowledge that not many have, but I guess that's not consolation enough. This is supposed to be my livelihood... knowledge is useless if i don't have tools to work with... sigh...
and further more, where am i heading? i mean, teaching is really fulfilling and all, but that's not what i really want to do. I really want to do studio work and stuff like that... i wanna produce someone's album, i want to set up concert sound-systems, i want to engineer music for people. How can i do that? UPM doesn't even have the facilities set-up properly for me to try out all the different things i can do on pro audio equipment.. sigh... and i'm supposed to learn there.. the classes don't cater me... i DO NOT claim to be an expert but my the lecturers are forced to teach basic things because... ermm... nah... shouldn't say it.. i really don't wanna insult/offend my coursemates. So you draw your own conclusion...
I also wanna further my studies. I want to do a post grad in Sound Engineering, Music production or something related. where can i do that here? UPM???? don't even have the facilities set-up properly. anywhere else? UMS? I'm not impressed at what they have. Where do i have in mind? University of Miami looks interesting, some Unis in UK look good... but guess what? $$$... or rather the lack of it... WHAT TO DO!?!?! don't even have money to get an air-ticket there let alone study there... sigh...
self-pity? You tell me. Whatever it is... it still depresses me....
posted by Jeffrey at 3:03 PM
2 Comments:
Hey dude,
Hang in there. Think about the value rather than the circumstances around you. I'm sure the Lord has place you there for a reason. Thru it all, He'd be your constant support.
If you have the time, would like to intro you to some of my musician friends who went thru the same ordeal and how the Lord has used them mightily and how His favour seems to be overflowing all the time.
Jesus Loves You...
Ian
hey dude,
its okayy....we still love you. The day u get to buy your guitar/amps and all the equipment u need, is the day i'll get my Mac G4!!! or whichever the latest one is.
Post a Comment
<< Home